Until Then

I'm working on who I want to be but I'm not there yet.

Can anyone relate? (redundant question)

I wonder if the person I'm trying to be is the person I'm able to be? I'm not suggesting lofty goals or unrealistic expectations implanted in my brain because of the media culture. Rather, a realistic hypothesis of who I could be.

When I was young, I wanted to be many things but as it turns out, I wasn't really good at any of those things. What I do is actually pretty cool and I never would have put myself here. When you're young though, I think you accept the fact that things could change between now and then. You assume, though, that whatever changes won't be any less cool than what your current idea is. As we get older though, we don't imagine things changing all that much. Funny when you think of it though isn't it? I mean, we're accustomed to a life of change but at some point we assume it couldn't change much more.

When I think of who I want to be, I assume that's the person I should be. But, compared to whom I'll be in 10 years, or even 50 years, I'm still quite immature and can't imagine what I'll really be. I wonder how we aim for being the best person we can be without making too many assumptions about what that's going to look like. As adults we have more control over our trajectory and can, therefore, keep on pushing towards, what might be, the wrong person.

Instead, I think I will forget about the person I want to become, focus instead on becoming the best that I could become at this very moment and do everything within my power to recognize who's image I was created in.


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